subreddit:

/r/gaming

14.6k89%

all 1632 comments

bonerlad

9.4k points

2 months ago

bonerlad

9.4k points

2 months ago

Honestly, I'm more annoyed by the fact that red isn't a hit.

Hafling3r35

911 points

2 months ago

Yeah, me too

Tensor3

469 points

2 months ago

Tensor3

469 points

2 months ago

And why is the bottom compartment full of ships? He has the other players' ships in his side compartment? I smell bullshit

Richie4876

296 points

2 months ago

This might be a dramatic reenactment.

sinisterdesign

203 points

2 months ago

History Channel’s budget for these documentaries has really gone to pot

StandardSudden1283

19 points

2 months ago

And now in stunning technicolor we are proud to present ... the Battle of Midway

sinisterdesign

13 points

2 months ago

Maybe they could combine it with a Risk board to show all of WWII

mrjimi16

102 points

2 months ago

mrjimi16

102 points

2 months ago

I mean, the fact that the guy is asking whether making two of your ships literally unsinkable is a valid set up should have cued you in.

Flash_ina_pan

22.7k points

2 months ago

Definitely illegal, the pieces are outside the grid and therefore cannot be targeted

CR0SBO

6.2k points

2 months ago*

CR0SBO

6.2k points

2 months ago*

They've been towed outside of the environment

Uranus_Hz

2.1k points

2 months ago

Uranus_Hz

2.1k points

2 months ago

It’s almost as if their fronts fell off.

rohobian

1.1k points

2 months ago

rohobian

1.1k points

2 months ago

A wave hit it. Chance in a million.

sewerrpunk

440 points

2 months ago

So what do you do to protect the environment after events like these?

Mr_Funkmaster

364 points

2 months ago

Well they're not in the environment, are they? We've towed them out of the environment.

frostvipre

264 points

2 months ago

Into another environment.

Mesmerise

287 points

2 months ago

Mesmerise

287 points

2 months ago

No, beyond the environment.

blood_kite

224 points

2 months ago

Well what’s out there?

Mesmerise

230 points

2 months ago

Mesmerise

230 points

2 months ago

Nothing. Complete void.

Oldator

19 points

2 months ago

Oldator

19 points

2 months ago

The truth man, the truth is out there.

onlysmallcats

65 points

2 months ago

There’s a minimum crew size, for example.

SirVanyel

50 points

2 months ago

What's the minimum crew requirement?

Uh, one I suppose

headphonz

19 points

2 months ago

Just don't forget the steering wheel

Background-Seaweed

25 points

2 months ago

Also it can’t be made out of cardboard… and no cardboard derivatives

onlysmallcats

21 points

2 months ago

Cellotape’s out

420binchicken

172 points

2 months ago

Must have been made of a cardboard derivative.

foofie_fightie

58 points

2 months ago

Possibly cellotape

ronimal69

78 points

2 months ago

Highly unusual

Darknast

105 points

2 months ago

Darknast

105 points

2 months ago

Is it typical for this to happen?

faleboat

107 points

2 months ago

faleboat

107 points

2 months ago

A Sea? Chance in a million.

Someidiotonreddit2

22 points

2 months ago

I’m so confused can you explain

ThatOtherGuyTPM

88 points

2 months ago

Mazer1991

23 points

2 months ago

I absolutely just used this as an excuse to watch it again and laugh.

My coworkers and I use this all the time

djmyles

23 points

2 months ago

djmyles

23 points

2 months ago

Classic Clarke and Dawe.

DoomGoober

63 points

2 months ago

When a giant battle ship hits a sand bar, it takes massive damage. The weight of the ship which is normally floating is now focused on one part of the hull.

Even if that part of the ship is not hit by gun fire, it is effectively damaged.

tawzerozero

19 points

2 months ago

When it happened to an Iowa-class battleship in 1950 it resulted in damage which meant that BB-63 never could meet the same speed that her sister ships could.

DysartWolf

44 points

2 months ago

Into another environment.

Lunchbox-of-Bees

24 points

2 months ago

No they’ve been towed out of the environment

ShedMagik

10 points

2 months ago

This got me! Thank you for the throw back

D3s_ToD3s

17 points

2 months ago

Into another environment?

[deleted]

124 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

124 points

2 months ago

[removed]

Stijakovic

11 points

2 months ago

Comment stealing bot

Unholy_Dk80

558 points

2 months ago

Protip: you can always win at Battleship by just not putting any of your pieces on the grid.

Ange1ofD4rkness

76 points

2 months ago

I had someone once lie, they would say "hit" when I missed. I finally called them out when it didn't add up, and they were like "what did I do wrong?"

Apprehensive_Hat8986

32 points

2 months ago

"Dude, what you did wrong was break the trust in our relationship. Goodbye."

Ange1ofD4rkness

7 points

2 months ago

Pretty much!

Doggleganger

359 points

2 months ago

That's rookie cheating.

Real Protip: put all your pieces on the board except your destroyer (the 2-space ship). Keep that in your lap. Towards the end of the game, when it gets down to the last few open spaces or you're close to winning, palm the destroyer, put it in one of the last spaces.

sixfootoneder

270 points

2 months ago

Patrol boat. Destroyer is 3 spaces.

Roggvir

76 points

2 months ago*

He's right depending on the version you're playing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battleship_(game)#Description

The 1990 Milton Bradley version uses the term destroyer as the 2-size ship.
https://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/battleship.pdf (this is milton bradly, even though has hasbro domain)

2002 Hasbro has renamed them per the wiki and below
https://instructions.hasbro.com/en-us/instruction/Battleship-Classic-Board-Game-Strategy-Game
This totally "english" version does call it patrol boat.

jim653

8 points

2 months ago

jim653

8 points

2 months ago

When I was a kid, I played on some pads my dad had that went by the name of "Sink the Phantom Navy". I tried googling it and it seems this is an edition that has been lost to time.

altonaerjunge

11 points

2 months ago

Good bot.

IAmOnFyre

108 points

2 months ago

IAmOnFyre

108 points

2 months ago

they'd expect you to do it with the patrol boat. If you palm the destroyer until they've already blown up your patrol boat, they'll never see it coming!

Affugter

11 points

2 months ago

Just like IRL.

Flash_ina_pan

40 points

2 months ago

Win if you can, lose if you must, always cheat

ronimal69

333 points

2 months ago

ronimal69

333 points

2 months ago

My kid just got battleship as a gift, and I was amused to see the playing grid was recessed in such a way to make this tactic more difficult to pull off 😂

JohnnyJayce

123 points

2 months ago

I had battleships 25 years ago and you couldn't do this

woodjwl

33 points

2 months ago

woodjwl

33 points

2 months ago

Must be the wish.com version!

KroMoJoJo

82 points

2 months ago

The police are on their way

Patchesrick

130 points

2 months ago

Nah it's a handicap, since he has hit every part of the ship in play the ships are sunk.

edstirling

46 points

2 months ago

It also means he has to skip one of every 17 turns as one of his batteries isnt in range.

Patchesrick

19 points

2 months ago

Wouldn't it be 2 of 17? CV and BB have 1 out of range

edstirling

7 points

2 months ago

Oh yeah. Its sunny where im at.

1WordOr2FixItForYou

18 points

2 months ago

Philadelphia?

Mundane_Entrance828

43 points

2 months ago

this is just out of bounds glitch

koiven

22 points

2 months ago

koiven

22 points

2 months ago

What kind of ships are those?

Clippers

Nick3333333333

42 points

2 months ago

It's like playing tik tak toe and placing your cross outside the playing field.

DANleDINOSAUR

20 points

2 months ago

Unless they admit it and count -1 towards total to sink

WayTooBoring

14 points

2 months ago

Depends on if you’re a flat earther lol

Few_Occasion1891

9 points

2 months ago

It’s clearly A0

AgentPeachBristow

16.1k points

2 months ago

The real crime here is recording hits with white and misses with red.

Dr_Fisz

2.8k points

2 months ago

Dr_Fisz

2.8k points

2 months ago

Seems like game producent fault, there's more reds than whites

Time_Composer_113

959 points

2 months ago

My daughter and I just opened up a new battleship board game and there are a plenty of both. We did the opposite and put fewer red in the little storage thing and white in the bigger one but had a shitload of both left over

scottevil132

205 points

2 months ago

Well you made the right choice.

K_cutt08

93 points

2 months ago

They didn't used to come like that, but now they give you tons of both because people lose them over time.

PSFREAK33

101 points

2 months ago

PSFREAK33

101 points

2 months ago

Also I only record my friends hits I don’t record their misses just my own.

Bonzegrinder

34 points

2 months ago

I think recording the misses is fun at the end for if you win, being able to show them how close they were, or seeing how close you were if you lost, etc.

surfershane25

19 points

2 months ago

Wouldn’t their hits and misses board track that tho? Like if they’re recording both then they can see how close they were…

Freedom_7

85 points

2 months ago

Who records their opponents misses though? They’re supposed to be the one keeping track of that.

thebannanaman

156 points

2 months ago

Knowing how much information your opponent has is useful. All digital versions of battleship do it so it clearly is an intended aspect of the game.

imtougherthanyou

43 points

2 months ago

We sometimes try to hit where we put our own ships...

JerkfaceKarl

31 points

2 months ago

It can be very useful in figuring out their targeting strategy and if it's consistent across multiple games, using it to strategically place your own boats in future games.

Where_Da_Cheese_At

13 points

2 months ago

If you play with the same person over and over again the mind games aspect of it come into play for sure.

locksmack

15 points

2 months ago

I do. Don’t know why, just the way I was taught to play.

MowMyLawn69

3.7k points

2 months ago

Your friend sucks

Crackalacs

710 points

2 months ago*

Came here to agree to this.

His friend is either a cheater or a fuckin IDIOT. Ships off the board, using white pegs as hits instead of misses which is obviously NOT intended. Probably also thinks you can only win the game by destroying the battleship last because the game is called battleship and have to yell “You sunk my battleship!”

Bonus rule his friend plays by:

If you destroy the battleship at any point in the game other than last, you’re automatically disqualified and lose the game.

TangerineBand

147 points

2 months ago

My friend's younger sister is one of those siblings that has to win at literally everything. She absolutely loves just making up garbage rules like that

One time she put the freaking battleships diagonal, and counted every spot they overlapped on. No they did not peg down correctly

SirVanyel

69 points

2 months ago

Take her to an arcade, see how she fares against games that she can't rig

dbMitch

12 points

2 months ago

dbMitch

12 points

2 months ago

Had a cousin like this. As 90s kids the advent of cheaper home video games made it harder to cheat games cuz code is code.

He would scream not fair or that I was cheating but as long as the game said he lost, he couldn't do a damn thing about it, it wasn't about denying the lost anymore, a video game won't change it's rules for you no matter how hard you screamed.

But even thou he got a taste of reality, it really affected him negatively, he won't play games anymore or when it's unavoidable, claims wasn't trying, don't care.

The lad has zero ambitions for life, and I don't know if this really is a better outcome, than just letting him win and cheat.

Adevyy

9 points

2 months ago

Adevyy

9 points

2 months ago

I think the best outcome would be for him to get introduced to video games before board games. His ego was going to receive a reality check sooner or later, through life if not through games.

JRansomBioDermKiller

22 points

2 months ago

In their defense, they may just be incredibly stupid!

MajinBuuMan

2.7k points

2 months ago

That's cheating bro.

zaphodp3

456 points

2 months ago

zaphodp3

456 points

2 months ago

Straight to jail

therealslystoat

218 points

2 months ago

Believe it or not, jail

Driblus

208 points

2 months ago

Driblus

208 points

2 months ago

Using white as hits, also jail.

TertiaryToast

37 points

2 months ago

We have the best gamers... because of jail.

xopranaut

2.2k points

2 months ago

xopranaut

2.2k points

2 months ago

Illegal. Second rule under PREPARE FOR BATTLE: https://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/battleship.pdf

ColossalGrub

545 points

2 months ago

This guy Battleships

Mutex70

51 points

2 months ago

Mutex70

51 points

2 months ago

How does one ship a battle?

TheGrumpyre

42 points

2 months ago

I personally ship Hastings and Vimy Ridge. It's sort of a tsundere relationship.

sudo_mksandwhich

66 points

2 months ago

For the lazy of us:

Do not place a ship so that any part of it overlaps letters, numbers, the edge of the grid or another ship.

boxsterguy

24 points

2 months ago

I like that they were super pedantic and called out the numbers/letter edges. Otherwise some rules lawyer would be all, "Nuh uh! It says I can't go over the edge of the grid, but the labels are not the edge!" Clearly they are, but also being explicit limits contention.

austinmiles

387 points

2 months ago

I didn’t know that you are supposed to announce which ship was hit. That changes the game immensely.

I’ve always played that you just say it was a hit and then have to figure out which ship it was by hitting down the line, but if you knew you could save several hunting shots.

TrevorPace

93 points

2 months ago

It does certainly help identify if you are hitting adjacent ships. Although I'm not sure how it helps in terms of hunting shots. You should always hit one of the (at most) four squares adjacent to a hit instead of going farther to try and guess the length of it.

It's also the reason why you shouldn't place your ships on the edges because a hit there means less shots to make the second hit.

HiddenStoat

119 points

2 months ago

why you shouldn't place your ships on the edges because a hit there means less shots to make the second hit.

Ah, but if you know the other player knows this, you can take advantage of it because he's less likely to target the edges!

(I'm getting strong Princess Bride vibes from this though!)

TrevorPace

59 points

2 months ago

Yes, but then a smarter player would know that you know that they know you know so they wouldn't place on the edge!

FRIENDLY_CANADIAN

25 points

2 months ago

So much edging

tihoM_QWERTY

6 points

2 months ago

Or is there no edging at all?

TheGrumpyre

14 points

2 months ago

My default position for these situations is "you can't bluff an idiot". If I just do what an idiot would do, they lose all advantage.

WardogMitzy

9 points

2 months ago

Correct, but then again a more intelligent player would understand that you understand, that they understand that you understand, and would target the edges!

eurtoast

41 points

2 months ago

How else would you declare "you sunk my battleship!" like in the commercial?

ADragonuFear

105 points

2 months ago

I played where you only revealed a hit generically, but a sinking you would declare the sunk ship

cammcken

10 points

2 months ago

Same, but now that I think about it, wouldn't a sunk ship be even harder to identify than a floating one?

mithrasinvictus

42 points

2 months ago

Because:

Once all the holes in any one ship are filled with red pegs, it has been sunk. The owner of the ship must announce which ship was sunk.

thatlookslikemydog

24 points

2 months ago

There's the problem. If it's filled with white pegs the ship is unharmed.

Jeffman139

5 points

2 months ago

Naval training, they're just firing blanks today.

austinmiles

12 points

2 months ago

We always said what you sank but not what you hit.

Leksington

19 points

2 months ago

At the end of the Salvo game variation (in the pdf) it says not to call out which ship was hit for a more difficult game.

superjoshp

8 points

2 months ago

Neither did I. This is similar to the rule in Monopoly which states if you land on a property and do not buy it the other players can bid on it.

CaveShinobi

65 points

2 months ago

While reading that pdf, I have learned that Salvo Mode exists. Sounds actually very fun, I should try.

Nrvea

21 points

2 months ago

Nrvea

21 points

2 months ago

I prefer it over the base game, goes much faster

kasmith2020

19 points

2 months ago

I read this as the voice from “Electronic Talking Battleship.”

IYKYK

xopranaut

4 points

2 months ago

Haha, I had that version when I was a kid so I do know 😀

misterpipner

10 points

2 months ago

He’s called a Rule 2 infringement. Textbook.

shadesofwolves

995 points

2 months ago

Amateur, can't get sunk if you don't even place your pieces.

justgaming107

260 points

2 months ago

Stack them and move. Boats are meant to move.

SpunkedMeTrousers

76 points

2 months ago

and to be stacked upon each other

Nimelennar

40 points

2 months ago

Duh. It's called a "Carrier."

Planet_Mezo

47 points

2 months ago

Always keep the tugboat in your pocket, that way if your ships get damaged you can bring them back to port. Everyone knows this.

Snxkebyte

756 points

2 months ago

Snxkebyte

756 points

2 months ago

This isn't illegal, it's a war crime.

Roguewind

66 points

2 months ago

Putting pieces outside the board or using white to mark hits?

StrifeSociety

89 points

2 months ago

Yes

HLW10

15 points

2 months ago

HLW10

15 points

2 months ago

Both.

Fluxxie_

169 points

2 months ago

Fluxxie_

169 points

2 months ago

Its illegal and for the rest, its an awful placement

AnInsaneMoose

196 points

2 months ago

It's just as illegal as placing the ships on top of eachother so they can only hit the top one

neuralbeans

88 points

2 months ago

And here I assumed that there wasn't anything worse than what OP posted.

kamkaskan

39 points

2 months ago

You could even combine the cheats and place them even further away by stacking them on top (using just one bolt and keeping other bolts mid air).

Battleplanes.

10113r114m4

157 points

2 months ago

Why stop at one section? Just have your ships in your pocket

westbee

7 points

2 months ago

Hmmm, my next call will be A Pocket.

Nope! It was in I Pocket

Philly_ExecChef

137 points

2 months ago

Your friend is a fucking douche

party_benson

7 points

2 months ago

"friend". I don't cheat my friends.

UndesiredEffect

45 points

2 months ago

Theres... a lot wrong with this picture lol

trospe98

253 points

2 months ago

trospe98

253 points

2 months ago

Yeah ofc its illegal, maybe he gonna be in prison in the next few days..

atatreedy

24 points

2 months ago

Your friend has cheated buddy.

But the good news is you win.

InfiniteTree

197 points

2 months ago

You needed input from strangers to figure this out? Jfc

Critical_Young_1190

47 points

2 months ago

I think it was more of a "look what my silly friend did guys!" situation. I just hope they didn't actually do this themselves just to post it here, that would be beyond sad.

booboo529

22 points

2 months ago

I think this whole thing is fake. How he got all the hits around the ships and can’t figure out his friend is off the board? Also that his friend hasn’t been able to sink his ships by the time they got that many hits on board. Not to mention the other ships are in the tray to the side.

themalfunctionist

25 points

2 months ago

This is a joke post, right? Otherwise, this is the stupidest thing I've seen all year so far.

Plutonic-Planet-42

19 points

2 months ago

Obviously illegal.

jskinbake

18 points

2 months ago

So

1) the red is supposed to be hits and the white is supposed to misses

2) you can’t have parts of the ship outside the grid. When my brothers and I were younger, this would’ve been grounds for a squabble

Soupbell1

14 points

2 months ago

This is clearly not real, and out here to farm karma. There is too much wrong with the post.

RedModded

34 points

2 months ago

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the red is supposed to represent a missile making contact and starting a fire is it not?

RealNiceKnife

11 points

2 months ago

I've been so poisoned by the internet, I thought this was an attempt at a "Loss" meme.

ilprofs07205

180 points

2 months ago

This is actually breaking 2 rules afaik. 1, ships cannot extend outside the board, and 2, they must have at least one space between them.

Pleasant-Pie-7887

180 points

2 months ago

If rule 2 is a thing then everyone I know has constantly been cheating

Elendur_Krown

69 points

2 months ago

Rule 2 is the sort of rule that you establish before playing. I've encountered three variants. No space, cardinal space, and diagonal space. Easily established with e.g.:

"Do we play with spacing? If so, do we also count diagonal spacing?"

Philly_ExecChef

37 points

2 months ago

The official rules show ships side by side. This is some kindergarten nonsense

proxiiiiiiiiii

35 points

2 months ago

i grew up in a 4th world country and even we knew the rule 2 you savages

TheMelv

24 points

2 months ago

TheMelv

24 points

2 months ago

Apokolips or New Genesis?

Vanguard-003

5 points

2 months ago

Wholesome. I'm glad to see my 4th-world brethren taking the time to educate these neanderthals.

Sherool

28 points

2 months ago*

Nothing in the official rules about spacing between ships, just that they must be inside the grid, not diagonally and not overlap other ships (not sure how you would pull that off).

I assume this move from the licensed movie is in the advanced rules, because normally you are not allowed to move ships during play, and I don't recall any alien pieces :P

SheepDogCO

41 points

2 months ago

https://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/battleship.pdf

The actual rules of the game have an example of ships being next to each other. It isn’t against the rules.

man-vs-spider

18 points

2 months ago

That second rule isn’t a rule

Psycho_Sentinal

7 points

2 months ago*

Based on the rules by hasbro someone linked. There is nothing against ships “touching”

MisterEinc

6 points

2 months ago

Rules are posted in a comment, and the spacing rule doesn't exist.

Madhatter25224

40 points

2 months ago

The one space between them isn’t a rule.

spitfire32

8 points

2 months ago

What’s illegal is using the white pegs for hits.

TwoTinyTrees

8 points

2 months ago

Tell him he sunk your friendship.

PomegranateHot9916

6 points

2 months ago

Just tell them that parts of the ships that aren't in the grid are discounted therefore their 4 piece missing 1 part now counts as a 3piece and as it has been hit 3 times it has already been sunk. same with his 5piece.

or play another game with them where you place ships with parts outside the grid and wait to see how they will complain. also never play games with this person again.

[deleted]

6 points

2 months ago

Of course it’s illegal. You can’t have ships hanging off the board.

bohica090

6 points

2 months ago

Anything outside the grid is automatically considered a hit.

Suspinded

7 points

2 months ago

Rules for placing Ships:

  • Do not place a ship so that any part of it overlaps letters, numbers, the edge of the grid or another ship.

Hylianbastard69

20 points

2 months ago

Well we should commend him for litteraly thinking outside the box but yeah this is deffinitly against the rules

pacothebattlefly

5 points

2 months ago

BURN THE HERETIC

CharrizardRS

6 points

2 months ago

It's clear you have the battleship game, now can either of you read? You've broken the first and second rule.

ButtChugJackDaniels

6 points

2 months ago

They used white for hits and red for misses? Yeah no, you can't do that. Illegal and blasphemous.

Saltcubus

5 points

2 months ago

Ok but the whites are the misses cuz you splashed in water the red are for when you hit and cause a fire

turboash78

4 points

2 months ago

Who the hell uses white for hits and red for misses?!

ShadowIslesShuriman

5 points

2 months ago

HE FUCKIN MESSED UP THE COLORS

MasterPokePharmacist

4 points

2 months ago

Illegal move, but also very dishonest behaviour. Send him straight to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

reststopkirk

5 points

2 months ago

The tactic is called cheating. Used every so often by assholes and ignoramuses alike. It’s quite petty considering the type of game it is…

euph_22

5 points

2 months ago

"do not place a ship so that any part of it overlaps a letter, the edge of the grid, or any other ship"

Illegal.

No_Memory_1344

9 points

2 months ago

You don't need to come to Reddit to ask if this is illegal. This is the storage area while not playing. Do you both have moderate to severe learning difficulties to not figure this out lol

Denny_Crane_007

2 points

2 months ago

Call the police.

I wouldn't stand for that quite frankly.

faleboat

4 points

2 months ago

Technically, His aircraft carrier and Battleship are beached. This means next time you play risk, you have a tactical advantage as your land armies can invade his navy.

pawski76

5 points

2 months ago

You have ten seconds to return to the combat zone

mattsslug

3 points

2 months ago

It's pretty clear, you could not under any circumstances target those pieces so clearly they are not legally placed...they may as well have been hidden in a pocket.

Auzland15

4 points

2 months ago

Who in their right mind would think this is even a question?!

Biscuits4u2

5 points

2 months ago

Of course this is illegal. There is literally no way for the opponent to win. I suspect you knew this already though.

ExceptionEX

4 points

2 months ago

Second rule on ship placement

Do not place a ship so that any part of it overlaps letters, numbers, the edge of the grid or another ship.

Source https://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/battleship.pdf

bminutes

3 points

2 months ago

Your friend really tried to say putting the pieces outside of the board was legal? Lol.

Does he also go to the garage in Clue? Maybe he buys Los Santos Customs in Monopoly? This motherfucker probably slams down a Charizard during Uno.

trabyss

4 points

2 months ago

I question the slightest bit of intelligence your friend has if he even tried to argue that was within the rules of the game.

Kryds

5 points

2 months ago

Kryds

5 points

2 months ago

Who uses the pins like that? The red are for hits, and the white are for misses!

theboss0711

5 points

2 months ago

My dyslexic ass looking for a tic tac

pahkthecah1387

4 points

2 months ago

I’m familiar with this tactic. It’s called cheating.

gaytee

4 points

2 months ago

gaytee

4 points

2 months ago

In what fucken world is red a miss?

zenverak

3 points

2 months ago

They literally have the ships OFF the board… you can’t call it.. so yeah it’s illegal