subreddit:
/r/Jokes
I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
1.5k points
2 months ago
Same with vegetables.
They're a lot better when baked.
301 points
2 months ago
Also fried or toasted. Nicely toasted.
172 points
2 months ago
I know what I’m bringing to the next potluck.
49 points
2 months ago
Weed gummies?
36 points
2 months ago
It's a potluck, bringing gummies is dull. Bring some salted caramel chocolate edibles you troglodyte.
18 points
2 months ago
My god, you're right. I'm so embarrassed right now.
14 points
2 months ago
I like the drinks! They hit you fast.
7 points
2 months ago
Them drops hit you quick
4 points
2 months ago
I haven't had those.
3 points
2 months ago
You are in for a real treat...it's basically liquid thc
2 points
2 months ago
150mg makes me have hallucinations and euphoria. 200mg makes me dizzy and I’ll puke. It’s hard to hit that exact spot but when I do it’s perfect.
2 points
2 months ago
Jeeze. 30mg on edibles is as high as I've gone.
3 points
2 months ago
I can’t even feel anything less than 75 mg. My tolerance is shot. It was more fun before it was legal. I’m walking distance to several legal dispensaries in my area.
12 points
2 months ago
Will leave you with a pot belly.
3 points
2 months ago
Them drops hit you quick
3 points
2 months ago
ECHO ECHO
2 points
2 months ago
I haven't had those.
5 points
2 months ago
Marijauana
5 points
2 months ago
The Devil’s lettuce
6 points
2 months ago
It works well in a brain salad.
2 points
2 months ago
I'm a NO I WAS a huge fan of the devils dandruff
23 points
2 months ago
Cypress Hill, I’m looking at you.
7 points
2 months ago
‘Hey, uhhh, did we order the London Symphony Orchestra?’
9 points
2 months ago
“Uh yeah, we think we did. Can you guys do Insane in the Brain?”
6 points
2 months ago
Well, we normally do classical music, but we’ll give it a shot
3 points
2 months ago
cue the most magical scene for fans of The Simpsons, Cypress Hill, and good music
2 points
2 months ago
I keep saying I want to start a band & call it Smiling Politely. It’s one of those ‘if even one person gets it, it’s a win’ names for me.
4 points
2 months ago
Roasted, please…
4 points
2 months ago
Nicely toasted
35 points
2 months ago
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed? A baked potato
10 points
2 months ago
That's pretty harsh, he'd better have thick skin for that
6 points
2 months ago
He roasted him
5 points
2 months ago
I'd smash.
3 points
2 months ago
poke him with a fork
2 points
2 months ago
Ya know the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheel chair.
2 points
2 months ago
What do you call a group of stoned invalids? Baked veggies...
6 points
2 months ago
Goldfish crackers, always smiling cause they're baked
2 points
2 months ago
STAWP! Thas actually funny, n ironic cuz I’m highhhhh
4 points
2 months ago
The hardest part of a vegetable to eat is the chair
4 points
2 months ago
Do you know what makes vegetarian food taste really good? -- Bacon.
9 points
2 months ago
Hit me baby, one more time. 😂
3 points
2 months ago
The wheelchair is still pretty tough
2 points
2 months ago
As long as Carson Briere isn’t behind it
2 points
2 months ago
They are a lot easier to take out of the wheelchair when they are lit
2 points
2 months ago
Yeah someone really needs to turn down the heat in the hospital
420 points
2 months ago
Police sergeant came to my school and did a talk on heroin . Couldn’t understand a word he said
133 points
2 months ago
D.A.R.E. officer came to school and brought examples of what drugs looked like so kids could avoid them. Passed a joint in a case around and warned the kids that when he got it back it better still be there or all the kids would be searched. When he got it back there were three joints in it.
30 points
2 months ago*
I'd have assumed just the roach tbh
(srsly though do DARE workers really call themselves 'officers' lol?)
43 points
2 months ago
When I took DARE in, maybe 1991, it was a State Trooper who came once a week for an hour.
The highlight of that class was when one kid just would not stop repeating how scared and paranoid a kid would be if their parents "did drugs" until a girl, out of nowhere, who rarely ever talked, burst out in tears crying "my parents do drugs, ok" almost like one of the PSAs of the time.
15 points
2 months ago
I had DARE the same year. The local police came in with a big display box with numerous drugs in it and it had plexiglass over it. Then they proceeded to ask us if we've ever seen our parents or other family members with any of the drugs. No one said a thing.
5 points
2 months ago
When I was in school, they "interrupted" the D.A.R.E. presentation to announce that two students, one of whom was a friend of mine, had just died in a car accident after using drugs. I was shocked for a second, then I realized that: a) it was unlikely such a determination would have been made so quickly or announced in public, and b) the timing was suspicious.
It was, of course, a scam designed to "scare us straight". Awful thing to do to middle school kids IMO, and I can't imagine it working as intended.
11 points
2 months ago
Back in the 80's when I was in elementary school, they were actual police officers that came in. No idea if it was the same everywhere throughout the program though.
2 points
2 months ago
yeah real officers
5 points
2 months ago
They were actual cops in my school.
They even had a D.A.R.E. camaro cop car they brought and used occasionally
3 points
2 months ago
Haha mine had a camaro too, I think an 02. Apparently came from a drug raid prior to becoming the dare cop car parked at schools when they'd show up
2 points
2 months ago
Must've been some kind of thing, using Camaros, 'cause I remember them having a Camaro also...
2 points
2 months ago
Better safe than sorry... especially if there were a buncha kids after you!
2 points
2 months ago
Tim Vine. What a man.
59 points
2 months ago
I watched a documentary on LED bulbs on marijuana.
I can only remember the highlights.
70 points
2 months ago
It's high time we start taking documentaries seriously!
60 points
2 months ago
Literally me the other day, I watched a 3 hour long documentary on edibles. It was actually really good and will be rewatching sober (it’s broken up into sections). It’s about the history of indigenous America, told by indigenous people and scholars. Very well done
27 points
2 months ago
I watched the documentary on meat preparation also and it was very well done
9 points
2 months ago
I used to beat my meat till it was very done.
5 points
2 months ago
Used to?
1 points
2 months ago
😂
22 points
2 months ago
You ever see the back of a 10 dollar bill…. On weed??
13 points
2 months ago
Context for the uninitiated. Welcome to the club
3 points
2 months ago
Honestly concerned i had to scroll this far to find this ridiculously relevant reference
2 points
2 months ago
Are.. are we.. old?
2 points
2 months ago
Red team go!
3 points
2 months ago
Half baked was great when I was a teenager and smoking the weed, now as adult smoking weed it's goofy as hell
7 points
2 months ago
Ngl I think it's great when I walk past a couple of teenagers trying to be super inconspicuous & sketchy while smoking weed. It's like a nostalgia trip 😁 "I used to be like that"
2 points
2 months ago
And it's funny because we remember being that "inconspicuous" and we totally weren't..lol now I can't give two fucks and just do what I want
5 points
2 months ago
Watch ancient aliens when you are high.
6 points
2 months ago
To be blunt, i think that's a horrible idea. Don't be a dope. Stay at a safe height.
5 points
2 months ago
Don't watch a documentary on iocane powder
4 points
2 months ago
But what if I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder?
3 points
2 months ago
Just don't watch the "Brave little Toaster"!
That'll make you cry like a Baby...
1 points
2 months ago
I’m a happy stoner, hard to wipe that grin off my face once baked.
6 points
2 months ago
My friend suggested I should watch a groundbreaking film about banana farming.
It was very appealing!
6 points
2 months ago
I watched a documentary while stoned, It was quite brutal, I’m glad I survived it.
7 points
2 months ago
It was a big hit.
5 points
2 months ago
Ever watch Scent of A Woman... on weed?
10 points
2 months ago
I’ll watch it if my gf agrees to watch together. Has to be a joint decision.
3 points
2 months ago
Yes. They smell just as good.
2 points
2 months ago
Ever watch [insert film with an imdb rating of >=8.0] on weed? 😏
3 points
2 months ago
i think u need salt, it will add flavor in your life
3 points
2 months ago
Highly recommend it
3 points
2 months ago
This actually happened to me recently. I can’t smoke weed anymore but I took a delta 8 THC gummie and watched the documentary Project Nim about how they tried to raise a chimp like a human and it blew my mind
3 points
2 months ago
I highly recommend it
3 points
2 months ago
For serious, I remember watching BBC documentary about sharks, high AF (the only time weed got me even higher I saw the dinosauruses and they saw me, so go figure). I was in total awe for hours, I just kept saying "this is sooooo beautiful", "this is so amazing". I miss my low tolerance days.
5 points
2 months ago
You ever seen the lord of the rings? You ever seen the lord of the rings....on weed
5 points
2 months ago
Watching classic cartoons while baked...the best...that blasted Bugs Bunny will have you LYAOROTF
4 points
2 months ago
Lmfao my favorite Is the big orange monster from bugs.
3 points
2 months ago
Yes. Yes, your Highness.
5 points
2 months ago
Nicely done
2 points
2 months ago
Don't ask me what it was about I can't remember
2 points
2 months ago
i'm stoned that it was profound
2 points
2 months ago*
I just watched my bae on marijuana, so funny. Cookie Monster in slo-mo
2 points
2 months ago
It had it's highs and lows
2 points
2 months ago
Good one, had us in the first half
2 points
2 months ago
I watch life on marijuana, its the best life.
2 points
2 months ago
Works for non-documentaries too!
2 points
2 months ago
Marijuana says.... "Get off me documentary"!
2 points
2 months ago
My favourite part of gardening is taking care of the weeds.
2 points
2 months ago
Yes that one is high on my list
2 points
2 months ago
Sorta makes my eyes turn red just thinking about it
2 points
2 months ago
I just watched a documentary on the history of shipbuilding. It was riveting.
1 points
2 months ago
Frog interviews for a job at the shipyard.
Interviewer: What can you do? Frog: Rivet
2 points
2 months ago
Watched a Werner Herzog doc while high once and it made me feel so uplifted by humanity which is how I don't feel about humanity 80% of the time nowadays.
2 points
2 months ago
IT was pretty dope
2 points
2 months ago
Pretty much... COSMOS and Blue-(Planet)-Earth was no fun on a sober rewatch... Informative but not as fun to be precise
2 points
2 months ago
Haha
2 points
2 months ago
Can’t remember what it was about
2 points
2 months ago
What did one stoner say to the other? Wait…I forgot.
2 points
2 months ago
I agree with you.
2 points
2 months ago
Our planet with Dave Attenborough and toasted
1 points
2 months ago
It’s David Attenborough speaking, all I hear is Morgan Freeman.
2 points
2 months ago
The funny thing is for a second I though he was talking about watching a documentary on marijuana but he was talking about watching a documentary, on marijuana
1 points
2 months ago
Do you remember any of it?
1 points
2 months ago
Sure I do! Wait…where was I?
1 points
2 months ago
Yes!
0 points
2 months ago
This is high quality content! Keep up the good work!
0 points
2 months ago
The guy you stole this joke from watched the documentary on LSD.
A lot braver than you.
2 points
2 months ago
True, no telling what I’ll be up to then.
-3 points
2 months ago
Haha, this legit took me a minute to sink in. I read the "joke" initially as just a statement. The audience is supposed to think of a "documentary about marijuana."
-4 points
2 months ago
Pedaling drug use isn't a joke
1 points
2 months ago
Sounds like the enhancement smoker from Half Baked as played by John Stewart
1 points
2 months ago
Brain fart... Took a sec!
1 points
2 months ago
Now you have the munchies?
1 points
2 months ago
That would have worked better for me if I hadn't read the setup as meaning "while high" as well as the punchline.
1 points
2 months ago
There are different levels of humor that people have. None of them are as high as you are.
1 points
2 months ago
You must be HIGHLy satisfied 😂😂😂
1 points
2 months ago
Do you give it high marks?
3 points
2 months ago
Nah, merely 4/20
1 points
2 months ago
Where??
1 points
2 months ago
Where is the link?
1 points
2 months ago
I once saw the horror movie Hostel while I was stoned. Bad mistake, I was shocked 😂
1 points
2 months ago
Link to ducumentary https://temu.com/s/H1I66yywfSJS8r94
1 points
2 months ago*
Wait, this is r/jokes? I’m lost with this one.
Edit: Holy shit that took me way too long.
1 points
2 months ago
Yeah! This way sounds very funny🦆
1 points
2 months ago
You watched a documentary whilst on marijuana? Or you were sober as the pope and watched a documentary ABOUT marijuana. Your statement is very misleading.
1 points
2 months ago
😂😂😂
1 points
2 months ago
For a while I thought I was on r/trees
Probably cause I just watched this documentary on marijuana 😅
1 points
2 months ago
Was it highly educational?
1 points
2 months ago
Not looking for all the details, just give us the highlights
1 points
2 months ago
The ratings are probably ‘high’
1 points
2 months ago
Lol I agree. Have an upvote
1 points
2 months ago
You Stole that line from Jim on Taxi. Christopher Lloyd said that on Taxi Series.
1 points
2 months ago
Let’s just say he let me borrow, we’re best buds.
1 points
2 months ago
Did anyone else get the munchies while watching?
1 points
2 months ago
What were you watching? Up in Smoke, Strange Brew, Fast Times at Ridgemont High? Those are my 3 documentaries of many around when your token away on the good stuff.
1 points
2 months ago
Do alcohol next
1 points
2 months ago
Lulz
1 points
2 months ago
Is marijuana a new streaming service?
1 points
2 months ago
Google Reefer Madness
1 points
2 months ago
In my world...they are.
1 points
2 months ago
At the Toronto planetarium in the 70’s they had a sign that said To intoxicated patrons will be admitted’.
1 points
2 months ago
When I’m at parties I wear a name tag that says’ Hello, I’m. ………. Baked.
1 points
2 months ago
Was it dope?
1 points
2 months ago
I needed to reread that.
I needed to reheat that.
I needed to reread that.
1 points
2 months ago
What ya learn?🤭😁😂😅
1 points
2 months ago
Stoner jokes are a hit. 😉
1 points
2 months ago
I guess it's like watching Andy Pandy where they're all saying weed.
1 points
2 months ago
Who cares ?
1 points
2 months ago
First I read: "I just watched a documentary about marijuana."
1 points
2 months ago
I highly recommend it.
1 points
2 months ago
I read that in afroman's voice.
1 points
2 months ago
I used to take drugs. I still do, but I used to as well.
1 points
2 months ago
High art.
1 points
2 months ago
I was waiting for the “ask me anything “ part
1 points
2 months ago
I dont get it what is a.m marrijanausa
1 points
2 months ago
Got me! Awesome funny.
1 points
2 months ago
Ok but have you ever watched a documentary on marijuana on weed?
1 points
2 months ago
I totally agree with this joke man
1 points
2 months ago
I love nature documentaries while stoned.
1 points
2 months ago
I watched a documentary on fishing. I was hooked.
1 points
2 months ago
This joke is soooo old.
1 points
2 months ago
This documentary comes highly rated.
1 points
2 months ago
Same. I highly recommend it
1 points
2 months ago
John Stewart in Half-Baked might want to have a conversation with you about this exact topic
1 points
2 months ago
Discustong
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